Teach your children well.
The day that comes just once a year,
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Each week(ish), I send out a short collection of things that caught my eye, made me think, or made me laugh.
For eating hot dogs and drinking beer, hey, hey, Independence Day
Parades are lots of fun, of course,
Unless you are behind a horse, neigh, neigh, Independence Day
Elephant ears and taffy pulls
Beauty queens in convertibles,
Watching the floats with kids so sweet,
Except they eat candy off the street,
It’s gross to eat candy off the street
You shouldn’t eat stuff that’s been near your feet
And if you don’t think that’s enough,
Tonight we're gonna blow up stuff, okay, Independence Day
Sparklers and cherry bombs,
Delight your dads but not your moms, no way, Independence Day
The fireworks will be so bright,
They’re gonna give your dog a fright,
The only thing that’s left to say, is
Did you bring the new bug spray?
I told you to bring the new bug spray.
This one is empty, what the hey?
And when the final boom is through,
You’ll look at me, I’ll look at you, hey, hey, Independence Day
We'll try to find a shooting star,
Because we cannot find our car, no way, Independence Day
Hey, hey, Independence Day
I guess we’ll stay, Independence Day